Eowyn
I crawled into bed quickly. My brother climbed to the top bunk on our rickety metal beds. My little sister laid in her crib, waiting for Daddy to come in. We didn't see much of my dad. He left for work very early in the morning and while he came home at a reasonable hour, he usually ate dinner and left for church or city meetings fairly soon afterwords. But when he was home, he came in for the nightly prayer and song ritual.

I laid in bed in anticipation. I wanted Daddy to pick me to go first so I could pick my favorite primary song. I knew that if anyone else went first, they'd pick it so I hoped and hoped that he would pick me. If he didn't, I'd have to think of something else, and it was such a bummer when that happened. I bounced a little in desire and willed my dad to hurry up. My brother called out to my dad to come, and was told to be patient. No-one got out of bed to hurry him up. That just didn't happen. In my house, when you got in bed the only reason you could come out was to use the loo.

Finally, my dad came in the door and walked toward the bunk bed. "Eowyn, why don't you go first. What do you want to sing?" As if it was really a question. "I am a Child of God!" And so we sang. Then my brother picked a song, and then my little sister. Then my father stood at each bed while we said our nightly prayers. A quick kiss on the cheek for each of us, and then he was gone. Off to whatever gazillion things he had to do that night. But for those moments, he was ours.

---------------------------------

It was late. Very late. The house was quiet. I laid in bed,looking up at the pattern of wire that held my brother's bunk bed up, letting my eyes cross. If I let go just right, the one dimensional pattern of wire would suddenly become three-dimensional and jump out at me. I could just barely see it from the light in the hallway (one of my siblings must have still been out). (I think I'm super good at those magic eye pictures from this.) I reached my hand out to grab something that wasn't there. And wondered a little about how it worked. And then let my eyes cross again.

Then, after a few times of that, I got bored. I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be asleep, but I couldn't. So I started singing. First, "I am a Child of God". Then "I Want to see the Temple", then "Families Can Be Together Forever". Then I sang some camp songs, and then I started the whole thing over again. Until my mom poked her head in the door and said, "Eowyn, be quiet. You're keeping people awake." Then I dutifully shut my mouth. But I kept singing in my head until I fell asleep.

---------------------------------

This night I was coming home from a friends house. When I got home, no-one was there. I looked around and wondered what to do. It was my first time being home alone, and it was very strange to me. I was 16 years old and I was at a loss. When you have eight siblings, being home alone never happened. Our house wasn't large, at least not compared to the houses in our neighborhood, but it was plenty big. We had to fit 11 people in there in the beginning.

By this time, 1/2 of the people were gone off and living on their own, and the rest were off doing their nightly thing. I was by myself in my house. There was quiet in a place where white noise reigned. I couldn't handle it. House noises that were usually covered by the noise of humanity started creaking my way into their consciousness. Animal noises, usually just part of the din of living on a small farm, suddenly amplified into threatening sounds. To put it bluntly, I freaked out. I put the TV on, and then went into my bedroom on the other end of the house and hid under my duvet.

And I sang. I started with "I am a Child of God". And sang a few other songs, but always came back to that one. There was a sense, while I was singing the song, that I was not alone. It brought me more comfort than anything else. An hour or so later the back door opened. I waited for a few minutes until I heard my moms voice and then breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. I wasn't alone any more.

--------------------------

The song came back to me over and over. Through the years I have sung it thousands of times. I sang it to myself cleaning my apartment after I was newly married, while Farimir was at work. Again alone, needing comfort. I sang it to each of my children while I was in the hospital having just given them life. I sang it when I was discouraged, and the closest family was 900 miles away. There were times when I was so emotionally lost that the mere thought of the song would bring tears to my eyes and a little hope that maybe I could get through the next few minutes.

And now I sing it with my kids. Not at bedtime. We have a different bedtime ritual than my parents had. But at other times. Very often in the car. When people are sad. It's a song that stays with me.

And I am so grateful for it.

--------------------------------

I am a Child of God,
And he has sent me here.
Has given me an earthly home,
With parents kind and dear.

Lead me, Guide me,
Walk beside me,
Help me find, the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a Child of God
And so my needs are great.
Help me to understand his words
Before it grows too late.

Lead me, Guide me,
Walk beside me,
Help me find, the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a Child of God
Rich blessings are in store.
If I but learn to do his will
I'll live with him once more.

Lead me, Guide me,
Walk beside me,
Help me find, the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

To hear a piano duet--Click here and then click on the MP3 recording and it will play for you.
3 Responses
  1. Kimberly Says:

    Oh wow. That was incredible.


  2. charrette Says:

    What a sweet post. I love all your memories associated with that song. I can think of several of my own. (One, walking home in a blizzard when I had to stay after school and it was getting dark.)


  3. I have always treasured this song, and now I will hold it even more dear.