Eowyn
What a wordy title. It actually came about as Kim of Temporary Insanity fame and I were chatting one day and I was trying to figure out what to do. With my blog in particular that is. I want a journal, I want a history, I want to be useful. I want to make you think and inspire you on to bigger and better things. I want to change the world. I want fame, fortune, and maybe a comment list longer than 5 people.

But if I did everything I ever wanted on my blog, I'd be blogging multiple times a day. And I've already made Faramir mad today by living in the cyber world instead of finishing something I told him I'd do. And let's not talk about the shambles my house is currently in. (Although it occurs to me that it's partly this bad because it's summer. Why didn't I think of that before? I mean, I have four kids at home all the time. During the school year I will have three gone and those three will come home with homework and consequently much less time to make a mess. I'm brilliant!) (Although you could probably disagree with me on that point since it took me this long to figure that out!) (But I digress. . .which is normal for me.)

The problem here is that I'm enormously fascinated by blogging, and books, and. . .Well, you read the title--although I'm not as much fascinated by boogers as I am disgusted by them. Now a logical person would take a small amount of time each day and do each. A little sewing. A little reading. A little booger wiping (or a lot, depending on the day). My problem is that I tend to get caught up in one thing to the detriment of everything else. My house is in chaos and my kids are needy because I've been lost in books lately. Next it will probably be quilting (I do have a few projects in the works). But my house will remain in chaos.

I've been contemplating this a lot lately. I read until 3:00 a.m. and then wonder why I'm so cranky at my kids the next day. I spend all day on the Internet researching new cars and then my living room is chaos when I go in. My kids run and scream through the house and some days all I do is yell at them from whatever refuge I am in, and then wonder why my kids don't obey me. I play with my kids a lot and then I get no sewing done in spite of the four projects I have going for other people.

It just goes on and on.

I'm not so good at balancing ~says the woman who currently types this post while one child sits in her lap, one waits to play on the Wii and one tries to convince me that the dishes in the dishwasher are dirty~

I need order in my life. . .
And organization. . .
Some self mastery wouldn't be amiss either. . .

Just how to do it is the real question.

I've realized, in these last few days, where I need to start.

My attitude.

Now that doesn't mean a happy-go-lucky "if I think about organization, it will come" attitude thing, though that might help. I'm talking about a deep realization of what is important. Right now, and I admit it, I'm pretty focused on me. What books to I want to read? How can I do this blogging thing with the least interference possible from my kids? Do I want to practice? Do I want to put the quilt on to quilt? (btw, if anyone knows how to quilt, I'm working on one and I'm all about quilting bees. Hint Hint!) It's been all about me. Me myself and I. All three of us.

This attitude isn't making me happy though. I'm not getting anything done, and not getting anything done starts to grind at my psyche. I start to feel weighed down by what I want/need to get done.

So my goal this last few days is to think about the others in my life. (No Lost Comments!) Who am I helping. Why is it important for me to get off my duff and be part of my children's lives? What about my sisters? I owe them 4 quilts. Is their frustration and sadness worth my getting in an extra book or two? And how does having a clean house benefit the rest of the family, and therefore benefit me? (Oh rats, just came back to me, but I hope you know what I mean.)

But this small change is helping. I put a quilt on last night. One that I've had the top done for two+ years on. And this morning, I did spend a little time online, but I didn't come in and finish this until after I had served lunch. And I even attempted to make lunch a little out of the ordinary.

And now I will end this post and go read my sons a book.
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4 Responses
  1. Kimberly Says:

    You're so brilliant. The time elapsed before having realizations like this is immaterial in comparison with what we do with the realization.

    It's funny how gluttinous we get sometimes. Like if we don't read the book or the blog, or write the post, or do this or that project, the opportunity will be gone forever.

    The books, blogs, quilts, and yes...even the boogers! Will still be there. We don't have to rush and do it all at once. I think slowing down is a big part of finding that ever elusive balance.

    Thanks for sharing this with us so we can be inspired right along with you!


  2. charrette Says:

    Beautifully stated.

    "I need order in my life. . .
    And organization. . .
    Some self mastery wouldn't be amiss either. . .

    Just how to do it is the real question."

    When you find that elusive answer, will you please let me know?

    And in the meantime, enjoy reading to your son.
    A little at a time is the best form of balance I've found so far.


  3. charrette Says:

    ...or, pondering further, I guess you could say you have to lose your life to find it.

    (Someone MUCH wiser than I am came up with that nugget!)


  4. EEEEMommy Says:

    Reading this post makes me think we must have been separated at birth! I could have written it myself, but not so eloquently. :)
    I too am a very focused individual and struggle so much to balance all the competing demands on my time. And the reading until 3am and wondering why I'm so grumpy the next day, Amen and Amen! ;)

    You're not alone!

    Oh and it's pretty tough to offend me, I don't know how you could. I just neglected to subscribe to this feed or bookmark your site, and I hadn't remembered to check in again. I'm sorry, friend. I've had fun catching up though, and this time I'll put you on my blog reader! :)