Me: "It's time to go to school"

What they hear: "School starts in approximately 3 hours so please go play."

Me: "It's time to practice your violin."

What they hear: Nothing--the mp3 player is plugged in to the offending ears.

Me: "Get your shoes and socks on."

What they hear: "Go in your bedroom and get out your racetrack."

Me: "Put your seat belt on"

What they hear: "Put your seat belt on as long as it's not too cold or too hot or too wet or too dry or. . ."

Me: "When there comes a commercial break, would you please take out the trash?"

What they hear: "As soon as the quarter finishes, you finish checking your fantasy scores, take a two hour nap and prepare the mashed potatoes, please take out the trash."

Me: "It's time to eat."

What they hear: "Dinner will be ready eventually, so please read three more chapters of your book."

Me: "It's time to get dressed and make your beds."

What they hear: "Dog pile on your brother."

. . .

What am I missing?
13 Responses
  1. Emily Says:

    Laugh Out LOUD!!
    When you figure out this secret language that I am not speaking, will you please let me know?
    it is really needed at our house right now!

  2. Natalie Says:

    This all sounds familiar, but I still feel like I don't know the language yet! You inspired my blog post today! Coming from someone that updates her blog every three months, that is saying something!

  3. L.T. Elliot Says:

    VERY funny! And sadly...so true.

  4. You're not missing a thing. I understand completely.

  5. InkMom Says:

    I actually said to GDog just a few minutes ago, "When I give you instructions, I do not want to hear your explanation for why you are disobeying me. I just want you to DO IT!"

  6. Eliza Says:

    Hahaha! I'm guessing these are the joys of motherhood.

  7. Kimberly Says:

    I love what Inkmom said. The number of explanations of disobedience I hear in a day - oi!

    Thanks for the giggle!

  8. Kimberly Says:

    I love what Inkmom said. The number of explanations of disobedience I hear in a day - oi!

    Thanks for the giggle!

  9. Melanie J Says:

    My ten-year-old has the exact same hearing disorder. Let me know if you find a cure, please?

  10. I once heard a theory that people who are of an artistic nature literally find it painful to stop an activity that is pleasurable or when focusing on a favored activity. I know that, as a kid, when I was reading a book and my mom told me it was time to set the table--it was definitely painful. (I'm willing to bet your kids are artistic but mostly I just tell this story b/c it makes me feel better about myself.) hee hee

  11. charrette Says:


    I say, "Don't engage in that argument, please" and they hear: "Ramp it up and throw in a few more jabs."

  12. Kazzy Says:

    Yeah, it's like a chip needs to be inserted for the translation to be correct. Sheesh.

  13. Thanks for explaining to me this translation disorder. Now we all just need to find a way to remedy it :) !!