There are a few things you need to know before I start this post. . .as always.

1--In the LDS church we are encouraged/commanded to have supply of food storage--3 months of food that we eat every day and 1 year of food that can last for a long time, like wheat and rice, etc. One of the things available to us to help with that is the LDS canneries. We can go there and work for ourselves to store things like oats, wheat, rice, dried refried beans, etc.. So I currently have quite a bit of stuff stored up in my garage. I don't have all of what I need yet. I'm working with space issues. Amongst other things, I have quite a few boxes that can hold 6 number 10 cans that are filled with wheat.

2--As you know, Faramir lost one of his jobs last November. This was the job that was the better paying job. As a result, we are now living off approximately 1/3 of our former income. This has been a learning experience. We had another conversation the other night highlighting just how faulty our communication has become. Thankfully we got things ironed out in this case.

3--Faramir bought a little something recently and put it on the credit card. He had a budget and spent more than that budget and justified it by putting it on the credit card. That ticked me off to no end. We've discussed this. It's all good. But it has bearing on the story I'm about to tell.

4--When I woke up Thursday morning and went into my laundry room, my nice new bottle of detergent had fallen off the washer, the lid had broken, and the bottle, for all intents and purposes, was now empty. I was so upset. This is where my mind-set was at the beginning of the day I am about to tell you about.

Faramir's birthday was Thursday. Given our current financial situation, I had very little available to me to buy him a gift or two. First I thought to buy him shoes, but the ones I specifically wanted were not part of the "Famous Footwear Clearance Sale". Since they were not on sale, I couldn't afford them and left. I thought about a pair of nice snow gloves and went into a sporting goods store and was shocked at how much a nice pair of gloves cost. (Yes, it's pathetic really. I haven't shopped for good gloves in ages.) Then I wandered over to Target to see what I could find there, since I was drawing a complete blank for ideas.

I did the rounds in Target. I walked all through there. I walked through the book department and saw a copy of "The Secret". I flipped through it and saw a quote that read something like "Think abundantly. Don't think about what you don't have or you'll always not have it. Don't keep saying things like "We can't afford that". Live abundantly."

Now let's be honest here. Reading that ticked me off a bit. How the helk (Thanks Heidi--since I wasn't exactly thinking a word so nice) am I supposed to think abundantly when I don't have it? What am I supposed to say to my kids when they ask to go out to eat and we can't afford it? How am I supposed to react when it's my husbands birthday and I can't even afford to buy him a new pair of shoes? I picked up the book because I've wanted to read it and then wandered on with my shopping.

I ended up in the Home department since Faramir likes clocks. He's been wanting an atomic clock for a while, so I picked one up for him. Then I got the idea that I wanted to give him the gift of a clean organized bathroom. Ours was a disaster with the counter's full of stuff we used to get read and a shelf on the floor that was holding lots of other stuff. (It had fallen off the wall and I couldn't get it back up.) That lots of other stuff was spilling out onto the ground. Because of this the floor hadn't been swept in ages and the counters hadn't been cleaned. . .you get the idea.

So I ran over into the Bath department and looked around and settled on an over the toilet shelf to buy and put up and bedazzle Faramir with a spotless bathroom. It was $40. I went back to the book department and put "The Secret" back since it was now more than I could afford. Besides, I was still just a bit put out at it. Then I wandered up to check out, got my stuff and headed to the grocery store.

I did my grocery shopping. There were several big ticket items that I had to buy--relatively speaking. You know, the kind that cost more than $10 a pop so it adds up quickly. I went to check out, got through and paid my bill. It was $20 more than I had. I drove home and the whole way I was having an argument with myself about the money. I could take back the shelf for the bathroom. Then I could re-deposit that money and cover my grocery bill. Or I could just let overdraft catch it and pay it off at the beginning of the next check. And believe me, this was an argument. I wanted that clean bathroom. But I had just gotten ticked off at Faramir for this very thing--spending more than we had. I could justify both responses.

Oi, this is getting long. I guess I'll stop here and continue my story tomorrow.