In the style of Kim from Temporary Insanity.

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Dear Toilet.

I'm very aware that the plumber walked in, took one look at you, and threw up his hands in despair. I know that he said there was no help for you. I am aware that this kind of reaction from anyone would cause deep seated emotional harm.

But really, did you have to go and make things worse?

Sincerely, The woman who has unplugged you three times in the last two days.

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Dear Nurse Practitioner.

You should probably inform your receptionist that you can't do stitches before they schedule the appointment with the mom on the phone. Glad I could provide you with some watching experience though.

Frustratingly yours,

The mom with two bloody boys

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Dear Physicians Assistant,

Truly, you are the reason I am still at this office. I love the Dr. here but he's impossible to see these days. I love your kindness and I love the fact that you even brought the doctor in for a second opinion on one of the cuts--wanting to be sure. I also love the fact that you were willing to explain every thing to me.

Thanks for the expertise. I hope my brother who is in PA school grows up to be just like you.

Thankfully,

The mom with the two bloody boys.

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Dear Dr.,

Just the fact that you told Seth that you had been sewn up on your face five times helped him face this much better than he might have had. I think you're an awesome doctor, now will you please clear up your schedule so I can actually see you more.

Wondering just exactly what you did your face that would require it to be sewn up 5 times,

The mom with the two bloody boys

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Dear Tyrone,

What a two days for you! First you spend all day on Sunday throwing up--or at least 6 hours which, in mom terms is all day. You get feeling better and then you run out on the tramp and manage to have a head on collision with Seth and split your chin open. It stinks to go through these kinds of things!

You were a trooper at the Dr.'s office. You sat there and let them poke, prod and clean you up and barely cried when they glued you back together.

You? Are awesome!

Love, Mom

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Dear Seth,

You set yourself apart today. You were bleeding and you still carried Tyrone in to the house because you were so concerned about him. (It's not quite as bad as that sounds. Tyrone was awake and screaming because he freaks out at blood.) You got the worst of it today. You were so freaked out because you were afraid they were going to have to staple you together or shave you bald, but you held it together really well.

You are the one who had to have stitches. They didn't have to shave you, thankfully, but it still hurt a lot when they numbed you up. You cried, but you did such a good job in general. That's a tough thing to go through.

Thanks for being my trooper,

Mom

P.S. With your hair messy you can't even see the stitches. No-one is ever going to know unless you decide to shave it off.

P.P.S. You might want to take a quick shower. You still have red highlights.

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Dear Trampoline,

I do love my boys.

Please try to understand that.

Beggingly,

The mom who doesn't particularly like the sight of blood.

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Dear Brandon Mull,

Thanks for writing Fablehaven. I'm going to be sad to see this particular run come to an end. We'll be there tonight, cheering and doing our part in trying to get you on the NY Times best seller list by buying your book. And then we will all read you for the next week.

From,

The family who loves to read.

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Dear Artist's Way,

Did you have to pick this particular week to be the no reading week? (See above.)

Wanting to scream,

Me

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Dearest Weather,

Would you make up your mind?

Everlastingly yours,

The mom who was too hot two nights ago and freezing last night.

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Dear Kim,

Thanks for letting me steal this idea. It was perfect for what I wanted to say today.

Love you to pieces!

Mwah!

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Happy week to you all!